Life Update: I’ve Moved House!

I officially moved out. My previous blog posts ‘The In-Door Waterfall’ and ‘My Greenwich House Is Falling Down‘, basically were me venting about the fact that my ceiling fell down in my last house resulting in a massive hole and of course this is England so it rained all the time, in and outside my room. My poor friends had to hear me moan about it. But at least I have my swimming costumes ready for summer.

“Where do I live?” I hear you heckle at me.
I have moved in with two men I met on the internet.

I know, what could go wrong?

One is 29 and the live-in-landlord. The other is 40 and rents out the spare room in the house and has lived here for over a year. They seem very nice and sweet people. But i’ve only been here 8 days so there is plenty of time for one of them to watch me sleeping and their creep modes to be activated.

My second night here my radiator started leaking. Yes I’m cursed. My landlord couldn’t escape me like my last one, but luckily he responded immediately and had it fixed in a few hours. Thank god! He was very sweet and apologetic, bless him! But clearly I am cursed. I don’t remember a witch cursing me with such a random tragedy. But as I said in the introduction of my previous post, I’m not a Disney princess.

There have been numerous awkward moments which resulted in me texting my friends for advice or just to share the awkward. For example:
1) Knocking on my door.
Now If I’m not naked, I will let the person in. Which I guess is awkward for some people if they see me sat up in bed with Batman pyjamas on. But let’s be honest, I could be wearing underpants on my head and singing hymns but no, I was just being lazy and that resulted in him acting like he just saw me commit a murder.
2) The bathroom.
This is right beside my landlords bedroom door. If you go to the toilet pretty much everyone and their mum can hear you. Luckily I have not eaten something that doesn’t agree with me, but one day that will happen, but until then…
Also there is a large window above the door and those walking up the stairs can probably see someone in the shower so that’s cool.
3) Locks.
Last person home locks the door. How do I know when the last person has come home? Do we have to do a register? That was the struggle of my first night here. I didn’t know whether to do a door to door knock-a-thon and ask who was in. So I awkwardly texted my landlord asking what to do. He ended up locking the door, whilst I sat on my bed looking like a moron.

When I came home Wednesday evening, my housemate the 40-year-old offered me a glass of wine and I just knew we would be best friends. Naturally I got very drunk and he and I talked out our arses for a few hours. It was fun and the awkwardness vanished. However, the next morning when the alcohol was gone, I remembered that I’m still not fully relaxed yet. Maybe I should wear my underpants on my head and sing hymns just to dilute the awkwardness.

All of a sudden I’m Jess from ‘New Girl’ moving into a place and sharing it with grown men, strangers I found online.

Any awkward housemate stories you want to share? Join me on my quest!


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